Several years ago, I donated blood and found out my blood type was B+. I decided that would be my theme for the year: Be Positive. Holding onto that feeling again...
I have had a few days to reflect on the pathology results and absorb the glow of everyone's support and kind words on social media. I have come to the only logical conclusion possible: positivity is the only option. That is to say, I am going to focus on what I know and what's within my control, and do my best to wade through the sludge of uncertainty, fear, and pain when the occasion merits.
Just from a physical perspective, pain is very much still in the mix, which, of course, is to be expected. I continue to struggle with the balancing act of it all - feeling fairly well, even competent and capable, then needing to adjust for pain and fatigue management.
I've done some reading lately about toxic positivity, and I realize how tempting it is to fall into some of those pitfalls when trying to work through big and scary events , to avoid allowing space for certain feelings. Additionally, I think that it's generally hard for me to articulate when I feel less-than or when I can't do something I feel like I should be able to do, particularly if that means asking for help.
I have been so bolstered and buoyed by the language so many people have used in showing me their love and support over these past few months (the weirdest few months of my whole life). I plan to hold onto those beautiful words as I forge ahead on this path.
That's it for now!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
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